Reality

I have not talked alot about my mom and my feelings about what is happening with her because I feel they are mine and I do not want to share.
I have in the back of my head had the sense of denial. That my mom will make it she is the strongest woman I know. But, hearing my dad on my voice mail today made me break down and cry. I try to be strong and not let any one I work with see me crumble but today it happened. I could not hold it any longer. All I want is for my mom to be here with me for ever. What will I do with out my Friday phone call 's and her telling me what a good job I am doing. And to have her to talk to when my kids are acting like I did. And my childrens achivements not able to be there and cheer or cry with joy with me. I need her and that is why I do not want to believe that this is happening Because I do not know what I am going to do with out her.
I still cry for her when I get bad head aches only she could really make them feel better. With my head on her lap and her brushing her hand through my hair.
My Mom who sings "Good morning to you, Good morning to you were all in our places with bright shiney face good morning to you. "