Update on Jim

Well, Jim goes to see a Hand Wrist Surgeon on the 8th of January. From there he will find out about his options. He went in earlier this month for a MRI on his wrist and the Dr. confirmed that the bone was not healing on the inside. So, now we take the next step. Will keep you posted.

Guess What I got for Christmas

OK, I know I have told a lot of people but here is a photo of it. I was so excited when I opened the box. I have been wanting one for many years. And I could not buy it myself. I felt it was a want not a need. I have all the appliances to do what this one machine will do so I just figured it was a luxury for me. Now I can say I have a KITCHEN AID. Not, I want a KITCHEN AID.

Back in Routine

Today I went back to work. Wow how things change in two weeks. My company is very slow. There for we will be asked to take time off to save on costs. And then I was in formed that more than likely I will workinmg 5 8hour shifts verse the 4 10hours I do now. There are alot of pros and cons in that for me.
It was a long day I wished I was cheerier. I just was very down today. Everyone was good to me lots of hugs and stuff. I am off to bed. One more day to go.

Just Babble.....

Yesterday I avoided going to a family gathering because I did not want to hear "How are you doing?" As I explained to my husband I am getting to the point that beginning to make me angry. I know people ask with good intentions but, how should one be doing? I am saddened, I am lonely, all I think about when I go to sleep is the last words I heard her say as she pulled my hair while we were in the hospital. How I could not just take her home.
Now, I sometimes I feel lost. I imagine how hard this is on my father and my sisters. We all have our own ways of coping with things. I sometimes feel like drowning my sorrows with a good bottle of wine. So, with that thought I have avoided the " Holiday Cheer "per say. (many years ago I got in a bad rut and was drinking every night of the week to not feel things and I do not want that to happen again)
I return to work Wednesday. I that will be tough. I have not been in for a full day since the 6th. I am hoping people will understand that I may not be the cheerful person I am known to be for sometime. I will do my best at what I do and come home to see my family.

Minnesota Beauty

Curlies New Girlfriend

OK, I want you to meet Lola.(Curlies future wife) She is a beautiful puppy.(no I did not get a new dog). Her new mom is Nikita. She is Maltese. (now to convince Nikita to let them be mom and daddy)

Now I have decided to try some recipes to share so be on the look out for them to come. Starting next week.

Someone Turned 6 today

Today Was Michael's Birthday. Grandpa called to wish him a happy birthday and we all made him feel special. Here are photos from his night out at Chuck E. Cheese. I am the Coupon mom so I would go for the great deals they have to offer. Isn't he cute

Can you guess he wanted Transformers

Me with my girlfriend Nikita

Then this evening we celebrated again and had cake and candles.

See you can read that face

"Come on people lets get this over with so we can eat"

Yep, Mom did save a present

Sweet more Transformers "mom rocks"

Continue to move forward

On the eve of my moms memorial service I now have to try and bring normalcy back to my household. Begin by getting the kids back in the normal routine of preparing for school and bedtimes. For me it is getting things settled back to normal. My house back in order, I have been in and out all week. Take a day and a deep breath to catch up on the world around me. Attempt to get sleep in my own bed. Pray that things go well for the kids.
The hardest thing will be when ever something came up whether how small it may have been I would call mom to tell her. Now, I will not have that so my dad will be getting the calls of goofiness from me. Whether it be Michael or Brittany doing something that I just have to share or Jim's up and coming surgery.
My life has changed dramatically and now I have to learn how to adapt to this change.

What I have to say......

My mom has been in the hospital since Monday morning and with great hope we will get her home on Thursday. To see her in this state is very hard. I know she is with out pain. Yet I feel my heart cry out for her with the hopes that she will respond and say its ok.
It was the hardest thing for me to come home this evening I wanted so much to be at her side. But I have not seen my children in a couple days. Seeing them would make me smile and that was what I needed. Both the kids spoke to her today on the phone and told her thay loved her. For Brittany it was really hard. Michael is still so young that he does not fully comprehend what is going on. I explained to both kids this evening that Grandma was not going to be with us much longer and she loves them both so much and will be smiling on them from heaven.
That was on of the hardest things for me to do as a parent.
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.
Sarah

Reality

I have not talked alot about my mom and my feelings about what is happening with her because I feel they are mine and I do not want to share.
I have in the back of my head had the sense of denial. That my mom will make it she is the strongest woman I know. But, hearing my dad on my voice mail today made me break down and cry. I try to be strong and not let any one I work with see me crumble but today it happened. I could not hold it any longer. All I want is for my mom to be here with me for ever. What will I do with out my Friday phone call 's and her telling me what a good job I am doing. And to have her to talk to when my kids are acting like I did. And my childrens achivements not able to be there and cheer or cry with joy with me. I need her and that is why I do not want to believe that this is happening Because I do not know what I am going to do with out her.
I still cry for her when I get bad head aches only she could really make them feel better. With my head on her lap and her brushing her hand through my hair.
My Mom who sings "Good morning to you, Good morning to you were all in our places with bright shiney face good morning to you. "

Update on Jim and the goings on here

My darling husband is still not back at work the doctor ordered a CT scan this week and we are now waiting on the results of that test to come back. For the time being he will be at home.
The kids are excited about christmas and break from school.
Work has been slow on my end not much going on other wise. Baking cookies today. Have a great day.