Memories

Lately, I have had a lot of memories come to mind. My young man got severely sunburned the other day. It made me remember when I was younger and my dad got really super bad sun burn. He lived on his Lazyboy chair for days. He could hardly move. Now, my little guy is in that pain.
The, today I was making Egg Rolls. I have not made egg rolls since I made then for my mom. I have had no want to make them. Until today. Everyone here was overjoyed. I am glad to make them all happy. And I know it would male my mom happy.

A Renewed Spirit

Hubby and I are looking at things differently in our relationship lately. We have been working on US. Not that we are having problems. We are just looking at things and how we see each other. We are defined as MOM and DAD. And sometimes we even call each other that. I know that there is nothing wrong with that but we realized that we need US time. We are always running with the kids. Hanging out with others but very little US time. All this began after him mom passed. We were alone. We had time to just be us. So, now we have began to make a point out of when ever the kids are gone we have US time. Whether it is just driving around and talking or taking a night and going to a hotel. We are taking the time. We realized that we do not want to have the only thing we relate to, to be our kids.
With that said I wanted to let you know how he makes me feel. He makes me smile everyday. When ever he tells me I am beautiful my heart skips a beat. He makes me feel so special. I am so lucky to have him in my life. I thank the lord everyday for such a great man.

A Hard Decision

We have had to make a hard decision this weekend. Now we love our animals very much but we love our children even more. We have been having some issues with our older dog. He has been very aggressive to our other dog. My daughter was trying to get the older dog to leave the other dog alone and he bite her. That is a no no in my house. I love him beyond belief. But I can not have a dog that bites here. Now that he has bite some one I will just worry that he may try to do it to other people. So tomorrow we will be taking him to the animal shelter. We have explained to the kids that they will hopefully find him a new home and we will all miss him. His aggression has been getting worse and we worry that his behavior will make the other dog aggressive. The kids seem to understand that this is what is the best choice for us to do. It is very hard on me. I love the dog.

2nd Ammendment

I received this photo in a email I received yesterday and all I could think YES.

I along with my husband are responsible gun owners. Our children know they are weapons not TOYS. We practice gun safety and both our children know how to shot and handle a gun. By no means do I let them run around with them. They know where and when to shot.

This is a RIGHT I am not willing to give up. I am a avid hunter and believe in the conceal and carry. Both my husband and I plan on getting our permits.

I will not apologize if I offended anyone. Because I have such strong feelings about this.

Remembering

Yesterday we went KFC. As we were eating the all you could eat buffet I started to remember a funny store.
Here is how it came up.
"Mom, why do they have cameras?"
" So, no one will steal the chicken."
As, my son looks at me with a look of why would anyone steal chicken?
I then told my husband and him about the times as a child we would go out to a dinner club as a family and my grandmother was known by all in the family to carry baggies in her purse.
Grandma would grab extra chicken, rolls and butter to bring home with her. I remember as a child thinking this was a good idea. Like grandma said "Its all you can eat. They just did not say when you had to eat it." LOL
Now, as an adult I look back and laugh.
"Mom, will you go to jail if you steal chicken?"
Hum, how do I answer that correctly? "How about we do not try it. Better to be safe than sorry." Because if I said no to him he would have wanted to try it. And that was just a bridge I was not ready to cross.
Now, we will not tell him about how mom used to do dine and dashes with her friends. Or how we would take coffee pots and silverware and other table essentials from one particular restaurant. LOL Yes I feel guilty abot it now. And I know what I did was wrong.

Happy New Year 2009

Happy New year to everyone. I barely made it to midnight. I guess I am just getting to old.
We went to friends and played cards and Scene It. Began to watch a movie and that was when I began to doze off. As, my dad would say "can't hang with the big dogs huh".
We left the little man asleep on the floor there. He is just to big for me to care now days. And Brit went to hang out with one of her girlfriends. She will be seen sometime today.
My resolution is to take everyday like it is the last. To enjoy the people I am with, be the best that I can. And not to sweat the little stuff.

Educationing Myself

I have recently found a opportunity to educate myself. I am going to be taking a seminar that deals with Lean Manufacturing and 5-s. Most of you are probably like what the heck is this about. Well, you know the saying "a place for everything and everything in its place" that is kind of a 5-s rule.
Lean is a way of life for some manufacturing companies. I know we practice lean where I work and we also practice the 5-s way of life but I want to learn more. I want to become an asset to my company. So starting in September I will be taking this seminar one day a week for six weeks. Wish me luck.

Just thinking

I am really missing mom today. Knowing that tomorrow is Mothers Day. I usually am looking at all the wonderful plants and items for the yard for her. But I have yet to walk in to a greenhouse. I have no interest in doing my own planting. Every year I would try to get her a new a unique plant. That way when it came up the next year she could look at it and think of me. Now I go and see all the plants I have given her over the years and am sadden by the fact that she is not here to enjoy them. I have yet to decide what I am doing for Mothers Day. Am I going to my parents or am I going to stay home.
I have thought about going and doing some New State Park Geocaches early in the morning. But after that I have no clue.
I feel I may have to figure something out.

Showing of Love

My husband is not the big romantic type. You almost have to beg for romance. But he is the guy that will make sure my car is running good. Since he is going away for the weekend. And shows me what I need to do to fix it if something happens. I remember reading a story about a wife whose husband would buy her odd gift for her birthday or christmas. Like a snow blower when all she wanted was say a new purse. Or a fishing pole. Then when she asked him why he bought these gifts it was so she could get out of the driveway when it snowed or to fish for food. My husband is kind of like that. I may want something that would make me smile but in the end it is the thought he puts in to his items. I feel in his own way he is romantic.
Now if we could only get the kids to show by cleaning their rooms.LOL

The odds

It is almost One years since my mom had been diagnosed with Cancer. And today we found out that my husbands mother also has cancer and hers is terminal also. What are the odds.
People always say God never put more in front of you than you can handle. But to me I have had to much death in my life. I shutter at the heart break I feel. All I can ask is WHY!?! Lately it seems that things will be back on track and then something comes and just knocks me off again.

How Does this Work?

I have ranted before about or child support system here in my state but now I even have a bigger question. how does the foster care program work? The reason I ask this question is because my daughters father and his wife now have a foster daughter. AGH.
So, I went to the website for the requirements to be a foster parent to see how this happened.

Here is what it says:

You must:
live in Anoka County
be at least 21-years-old, financially stable and responsible (but do not have to pay support)
have appropriate sleeping space (make own daughter sleep on couch when she visits)
There must be enough bedrooms for everyone.
Foster children can share a bedroom with a child of the same sex, if the room is large enough. (own child unable to share room with foster child)
They cannot share a bedroom with an adult or a child of the opposite sex.
complete an application for foster care
allow Anoka County to complete a criminal history background check on all household members who are 13-years-old or older
live in a home or apartment that meets fire safety code
abide by a “No Corporal Punishment” rule
be available to transport children to visitations and medical appointments
provide the County with three personal references
participate in a home study that includes interviews with all household members (tell own child it was there fault the first time they did not get a child because they were not there for interview(stepmother said))
attend on-going training (12 hours annually for each adult in the household)

You may:
be single or married
rent or own your home
already have children in your home (have own child just can not take care of)
work full- or part-time, depending on the foster child’s age and needs

I understand that there are children out there that need people to help take care of them but when I hear I can not work I am blind and so on and so forth from him and then learn that he is more than capable of taking on a foster child and being a parent there I just wonder HOW? The thing that hurts the most is how Britt feels that she is being asked over just to watch the foster kid. And now they are telling her that this child is calling them mom and dad and that they plan on adopting this child. I feel so bad for my daughter. Yes I know I do not have to let her go over and see him but I have always made it her choice. She wants to see her father. Not live with him but visiting him is fine she says. She goes because she knows that she will be coming home soon.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter to all. Please remember it is not all about the candy.

Question??????

If you had $600.00 and it was not accounted for in your earning. Such as paychecks and other moneys that youget for your bills what would you do with it? What would you purchase?
This is money that you were not expecting to get? What would you do? Use your imagination.
Thanks
Charish

Stranger Among Family

Who am I ? That is a question I sometimes ask myself. I sometimes feel like a stranger when I am among my family. Maybe that is my own doing. I left my parents home at the age of 18. There are a lot of things that lead up to this happening and you can never go back and change things. For my sisters it was really hard. I hurt my parents in doing this and them at that time I was young and thought I knew everything. We have many years between us girls and that is no ones fault. So, we really did not grow up to be close friends. We all get along for our parents when we are together. We do not talk on the phone or share little stories about growing up or anything that a lot of other siblings may do. Mainly with me. I have hurt them both.

With one I keep things a secret that she had asked me to do and I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping her confidence. In the end I was wrong. And I happen to be one other those people who gets upset when confronted and said things to her and my parents that I can never make up for or taken back.

My other sister and I have always been distant. I did try to make things work but when you had me as a big sister it is kind of hard to get past me being the way I was. I guess I told her I hated her and was very very mean. I never really appreciated what it was to have sisters until I was older. Now it is to late.

I want the long conversations on the phone about nothing and the spending time together being silly. But, I know in reality that will never happen. There is nothing that I can do to fix the past. I am trying to set a future.

Now, my youngest sister is getting married. I am so excited to watch her walk down the isle like I did when my middle sister got married. I still have her program from her wedding with the pictures that I took. Now, with the youngest getting married I can make scrapbook of their weddings for me to reflect back on.

These are the memories that I keep.

Do I wish we had a closer relationship? You bet. But, for me to call or stop by I just feel out of place. Like I said I am the stranger among family.

Break Down

Yesterday we had to go a do our grocery shopping. Where else to go for us is Walmart Supercenter. They were having there Women's Health weekend and I came across a woman who you had a scarf on her head and was handing out info and samples. I had asked her what type of cancer she had and she told me it was Breast and it was terminal. I lost it right there. Tears flowed and heart ached. Seeing a strong woman like my mom was going to god soon. I felt very sad. But, her like my mom was so strong and doing what she could with the time she had. She hugged me and said she would keep me in her prayer. And all I could think was what a selfless act her praying for me and she is the one who is dying not me. I felt my mom was there with me wanting me to continue on and do what I felt was right and follow the directions she has taught me in my life.

Just Babble.....

Yesterday I avoided going to a family gathering because I did not want to hear "How are you doing?" As I explained to my husband I am getting to the point that beginning to make me angry. I know people ask with good intentions but, how should one be doing? I am saddened, I am lonely, all I think about when I go to sleep is the last words I heard her say as she pulled my hair while we were in the hospital. How I could not just take her home.
Now, I sometimes I feel lost. I imagine how hard this is on my father and my sisters. We all have our own ways of coping with things. I sometimes feel like drowning my sorrows with a good bottle of wine. So, with that thought I have avoided the " Holiday Cheer "per say. (many years ago I got in a bad rut and was drinking every night of the week to not feel things and I do not want that to happen again)
I return to work Wednesday. I that will be tough. I have not been in for a full day since the 6th. I am hoping people will understand that I may not be the cheerful person I am known to be for sometime. I will do my best at what I do and come home to see my family.

Minnesota Beauty

In Their Shoes

Yesterday was a day that made me think back on my childhood and realize my parents did love me and were not out to make my life hell. When I was told I could not do something because of my grades or my behavior. ( I now see why ). I always remember them saying we do this because we love you.
My oldest has been having issues with her grades , getting to class on time, and some attitude issues.
So, last night there was a dance at the school for 7th and 8th grader and she had asked last week if she could go. I told her that I would be sending a form to the school the Friday of the Dance and asking all the teachers if Brittany has been doing and turning in her work. ( this is also been going on for our newest child also Amber she is temporarily staying with us to help her with some of her issues) Now Brittany needed to get one of her teachers to still sign hers so she missed the bus so taxi mom had to pick her up. I spoke with the asst. principal and she said thing were going much better.
Now when I looked that the report she had 3out of 5 assignments missing in one class and 3 out of 7 in another class. When I saw she was missing assignments she was told because of the agreement she would not be going to the dance. Boy, oh boy did I see myself back in the day.(sorry mom and dad). I looked at her and said your really mad at me right now and I know it because I used to do the same things. Explained what I did and almost got a smile out of her. Now, here is the problem Amber did all her work and earned the right to go to the dance. Now, I did inform them that if one did not get a good report then the one who had a good report will be going and the other will not. So, now I was a really bad mom in Brittany's eyes. (today things are back to normal). So, here I was in their shoes.