Wednesday, May 30, 2007


people always ask me where I work so I thought I would set up a link for all to see:
Sometimes it is just easier to show people that try to explain it.

Still doing good with the not smoking thing. People keep telling me good luck. I said I do not need luck my mother is the best motivation there is.(LOVE YOU MOM)

Have a great day

Monday, May 28, 2007


Today we took the kids fishing on a lake close to our home and had such a good time was had by all.

Brittany and Michael did not catch anything but they still had a good time. Jim caught 4 fish and I caught 3. Yet no one got pictures of moms fish.

We did not have to buy worms because the kids found them in the dirt before we left. It was nice to do a family event that did not cost us a lot of money.
The park we went to was so nice. It was clean and free to get into. I know alot of county parks have begun to charge to get in the parks.
Then we found list large Walleye.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

day 2

I have made through this day. I guess it should get better from here.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Day One

Day one no cigarette. Very hard. Have urges really fell the want.
Still hold ing strong have not had one since 10:15pm last night.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Show and Tell Friday

While looking around at other blogs I Found Show and tell Friday. I though what a neat Idea. So here is my first show and tell. This is my MCCOY Turtle Planter. I found him this year at a local auction. I hope you enjoy seeing him.

Thursday, May 24, 2007


Today was a hard day for me at work. I was working on our drill at work not you ordinary drill I can drill 8 holes 12" apart at one time. Well, anyway when I drill I am by myself no one to talk to so all I do is think.
What do I think about. Lately my mom. Her wishes and dreams for me. And how things will never be the same.
When my mom was in the hospital my husband and my father had a talk and I learned that my moms only wish is for my sisters and I to get along. We are three different people and as someone told me we have different values.
I will admit I was not the best big sister growing up. I have tried to be a better person over the years some may say different. Each is allowed there own opinion.
I have tried , maybe not hard enough. I guess I will never know. All I want is to have the relationship I see that my mom has with her siblings. No one judging, everyone just being who they are and being excepted for that. I gave up a while back. I was tired of trying. My husband who is the sane one pulled me aside and said " Sarah, you will never be happy unless you talk to your family" Wow. Here I thought I had all the answers and my husband kicks me in the butt.
What more can I do. I have apologized. Tried to be a good sister maybe, I am not cut out for it.
I worry that if I am myself I may offend one of my sisters with my comments. May be taken the wrong way. I always feel like I am on eggshells and am tired of not being me. I love my sisters. S with her little querks, her great family, always has a smile. And A her musical ability is just amazing. Happy with herself and joy of life.

Another thing I feel that because I work long days and live far away that I am not doing everything I can for my mom. She wants Egg rolls and I am getting up early to make them for her. Big deal. I am not there everyday, I try to call everyday. Yet that does not seem like enough.
I can not cry. I am afraid that if I start I may not stop. So,like today. When I was at my drill I began to get sad and could feel the tears well up I had to stop working take a deep breath and make myself stop. (why , this is a question I have been asked over and over again. Or I have been told you are really holding yourself together. I have to because that is how I always have been. My kids, my husband they are what keep me strong. I need to be for them if I break then they will also and who is going to be strong)
This is just a sample of what goes through my head I could go on and on.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Through a Child's Eyes

Yesterday Michael and I went and spent the day with my parents to be there to spend time with grandma and to do what ever need to be done. I needed to run to the Drycleaners for my dad so I left Michael with Grandpa. He asked me if he could take pictures with my camara so I let him hereis what he felt was important to take pictures of :

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


I am someones child.
When all this bad new started to come in I had a very hard time not telling my children. I pride myself on always telling my daughter the truth and here I am keeping a secret from her. So the weekend after we found out about the cancer I took her on a trip to the store with me so I could share with her what is going on. Now last night after speaking with my dad and having a hard time with all the information and trying my best to process my feelings and thoughts I then had to pull myself together to share with my husband and daughter. My daughter was very heart broken and I had to stay strong for her. My son is to young to process what is going on so for now we just tell him that grandma is sick and needs all the love we can give her. So when I am alone or at work I begin to break down and I just will not let that happen. All I can think is if I am strong my mom will see and she will be strong too.
Crying I am to afraid to cry because I may not stop. plus if I cry and my mom hears it will just make her sad and I want only to be positive for her. I have not fully processed everything my dad told me because I think down deep I do not want to believe it.

Now my reality is kicking in I have been a smoker for many years at least 15 plus years and I know I need to quit. I have taken steps in the past and tried now here I am with a smoke in one hand and then I have this NICOGEL which I picked up at the local gas station. I am scared to use it why I do not know.
But I know I need to do something. So I figure I would give it a try tomarrow. I told my husband and kid I would do that for them now I need to try.
So wish me luck.

Friday, May 11, 2007


Spring is in the air:

Sunday, May 6, 2007

My Husband

Jim and I will be married for 5 years this July and we have been together longer that that. But, sometimes when you think you have seen it all he comes around and surprises you and does something you never expected.

Yesterday, I had to take care of some things for the City we live in and was gone for about 2 and 1/2 hours. When I got home he asked me if he was doing something right on American Greeting Cards site.

I with a look of surprise looked at him and told him I canceled that membership. Yet after briefly looking at what he was up to I said don't worry send what you need to send. (know that he was sending a card to my Mom). (a little about Jim he is sweet and romantic sometimes forgets that wooing me is still a good thing and need to be reminded at times) Here was my husband doing something that touched my heart more than words could say. I did not read what he wrote her until much later that night when I looked at our inbox. After reading what he wrote I was touched because sometimes he has a hard time writing how he feels. So In honor my husband today is his day. Because of him I am a better person.


I love you Jim

Thursday, May 3, 2007


MN child support (Anoka county). Everyone I talk to tells me how they get raked over the coals by Anoka county and the amount of child support they take out of their paychecks and how if they are late with payment or behind how they are in court explaining themselves.

Here is a brief history with my case, it took Anoka county just under a year to get my case up and running and that happened only because I called on of the county commissioners and said what does none need to do to to get the ball rolling for my childsupport case to ordered(no order no help).

Now, just about a year ago Anoka count and myself took biological father to court for contempt of none payment. This process took almost a year due to the fact that if the Biological father is receiving County assistance ther State will not hold them in contempt.(NO, if he gets assistance the child does not. Only him. I could apply for assistance but I make to much $ therefore she would be denied. I asked my worker ' if I quit my job then she could get assistance' 'yep' to me that was BS.

Ok, back to what I was getting at in June of 2006 at the contempt hearing we agree on an amount (not a modification) that would keep him out of jail. After 6months of payment and him not fully completing what was ordered by the court Anoka county said they were dropping the contempt charge. I called and tried to argue and all they said was he did pay. I told my case worker I will be calling you in 3 months. Why, you ask because his last payment was on November 22, 2006.

So, in February I proceed to call Anoka County case worker. Explained to her my words TOLD YOU SO. When can we refile contempt. She told me that they are only allowed 3 cases a month and I would be added to the long list and if he makes any payment we start over. Well guess what I got a payment of $13.74.

Therefore I will now have to wait 3 more months. While he does whatever he want. And he wants to be cool father but does not believe in responsibility.



We have just recently purchased our computer and became apart of the 2100 century. We have been using it to help my daughter with her homework project for school. She gave us a subject that we needed information on so we decided to do a search.(VOYAGERS IN MN HISTORY). The good parent that I am, I say 'they are about the same as explorers.' After around an hour of searches I come across the MN History Society site. There are links to every thing here I find a home work help link. Now I feel great. So, we proceed to enter out question in the box and hit enter. I now am asked am I prepared to PAY for the answer. (WHAT)The good mom that I am looks at it and say 'what is this going to cost me.' ($30.00) Forget this I am going to keep searching because that is not happening. We debate a little about the words meaning and So what do I do I look up the definition of the word. She meant(VOYAGEUR). OK, now we are getting some where. Now we did learn that Voyager is someone who travels a long distance where Voyageur is a Fur Trader.
I am not smarter than a 6Th grader. But my Internet is.....

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

My son

My son has been getting rides on a 4wheeler and learning a little about them I thought would share he is riding with my girlfriend stepson:

Now note he does have a helmet on and goggles.

This is for my mom don't worry he is in good hand. But now there is talk about a dirt bike in the future. We are looking for a differant helmet other than his bike one.